Mother’s Day is a unique holiday. If your mother is living,
there are certain pressures related to the second Sunday in
May.
Mother’s Day is a unique holiday. If your mother is living, there are certain pressures related to the second Sunday in May.
For example, you might be forgiven for forgetting a birthday, anniversary or Flag Day, but if you forget Mother’s Day, watch out. No matter how many years you remember, how many lovely dinners you cook or presents you buy, a forgotten Mother’s Day will forever hang over your head. It’s just the way moms are.
If you’re lucky enough to remember Mother’s Day, there is the problem of the card. I’m sure even card companies feel the extra pressure surrounding this holiday. If your mom was a great mom, purchasing a card is much easier, but there’s still a balance to be found. You just have to look for a card that’s shows enough appreciation without offering to let her come live with you.
Some women are lousy mothers. They’re happy just to have a card. A card with a pretty picture and the words “Have a Happy Mother’s Day” is just fine. It shows you cared enough to buy a card, regardless of their parenting skills.
Most moms fall into the in-between category. They certainly aren’t perfect (regardless of what they think), truly love their children and have done the best they can. Buying cards for these mothers is a minefield. Would they prefer a mushy card (which comes with the risk of them crying, then hugging us) or a funny card (which they may laugh at then later wonder why they didn’t get a mushy card)?
And no matter what stores would like us to believe, not all mothers want lingerie, perfume or jewelry for Mother’s Day. Some moms would prefer a table saw, rock-climbing equipment or a day at a luxury spa. A Mother’s Day gift should never be something as impersonal as a household appliance or gardening tools. Most moms are practical by nature and tend to put their needs after those of their spouse, children and pets. This is the time to acknowledge the woman behind the title.
Gift certificates can be the way to go if the mother receiving the certificate isn’t stuck on having you pick out the gift. All gift certificates to mother’s should include instructions that the certificate must be spent on her – not the house, yard or other family members. But there are always exceptions. If mom has wanted a bird bath or fountain for the yard and it would give her hours of pleasure, then by all means the money could go towards that. But if mom wants to buy fertilizer, that’s a definite no-no.
OK, so the card and presents are bought, but what about the day itself? Grown children who live far away get off easy. Those who live close to mom have to do a little shuffling. Siblings can make the choice of spending the day as a family group, or stretching out Mother’s Day over the weekend. One can take mom out to dinner on Saturday, while another does the Sunday brunch. There are movies to be seen, garden shows to attend, even formal teas set to entertain the matriarch of the family.
There are some unwritten rules for Mother’s Day. For example, this is the one time of year you’re not allowed to roll your eyes at mom’s cute little baby stories. You cannot correct her when she tells her version of a family event, even if you know your version is the right one. Also, no matter how important the sports event, unless mom really wants to go along, you should stay at home, pampering mom.
Mother’s Day is the one time of year where the family member who usually gives the most, should get some special attention. After all, mothers continue to love and support us through the terrible twos, awkward pre-teen stages and the know-it-all teen years. They deserve a day honoring the sacrifices they’ve made and their ability to survive our childhoods. Maybe a card, gift and dinner isn’t enough. Moms deserve something more – like a medal they can wear.
