Live the fantasy
There are few things in this world that would make me let go of
the steering wheel while driving, let alone through the
construction of the Sunnyslope and McCray intersection, only to
give a spirited fist pump.
It’s a dangerous move, I know. And I wasn’t even eating, making
a non-hands-free phone call, or displaying an inappropriate hand
gesture to another driver
– all perfectly legitimate reasons to let go of the steering
wheel.
Live the fantasy
There are few things in this world that would make me let go of the steering wheel while driving, let alone through the construction of the Sunnyslope and McCray intersection, only to give a spirited fist pump.
It’s a dangerous move, I know. And I wasn’t even eating, making a non-hands-free phone call, or displaying an inappropriate hand gesture to another driver – all perfectly legitimate reasons to let go of the steering wheel.
But the radio was on when I heard Roy Williams, wide receiver for the hapless Detroit Lions, was traded to the Dallas Cowboys, where fantasy dreams are made, fantasy championships are won.
And I thought this, and only this, deserved a two-fisted fist pump.
It’s a sad state of affairs when you’re nearly kissing the cones in a construction site – you probably shouldn’t be driving – but it’s a whole different level of sad when you nearly do it because your bust of a wide receiver just got traded to a team where he has a chance to live up to his high-draft status.
To think, I nearly put other drivers in harms way for Roy Williams.
In other words, I nearly put other drivers in harms way because I have no life.
Hi, my name is Andrew, and I have a fantasy football addiction.
Hello, Andrew.
Now, I’m not going to run down the reasons of my addiction, but I think it needs to be curbed before I hit a curb while driving.
This has been one of my “better” years, according to my girlfriend. Once a three-team fantasy player, I’ve since downsized to just a single team this year. Although I’m not necessarily happier fantasy football-wise, I still have a girlfriend, which counts for something.
I’ve been playing fantasy football for about 12 years now – it was a lot more work before the Internets came around – and although I cut back to one team this year simply to control my love, my passion, it doesn’t necessarily seem to be working.
I’ve noticed, and I’m sure my girlfriend has noticed, that instead of splitting up a specific amount of time among three teams, I’m just devoting all my time to my one team.
It’s kind of like an only child now, and I am most certainly spoiling it.
It got my attention for a 5 a.m. online draft (it was the only time available); When it needed to be replenished with new talent, I spent hours proposing fantasy trades; And just when its self-esteem couldn’t get any lower, I built up the fantasy prowess of one DJ Hackett just so I could trade him.
I even nearly missed deadline one night because Monday Night Football was on and I needed Drew Brees to throw one more pass.
The funny thing is, everyone who plays fantasy football knows just how sad and pathetic it is. We spend hours on Sunday, in sunny California, resting our legs in front of the television set, tuned to the NFL, with our computers on, tuned to the most updated NFL statistics.
The blinds are usually drawn, and the cell phone is in hand and at the ready – all the better to text trash to an opposing team.
But Google “fantasy football” and you get more than 43 million results. For some reason, our addiction is easier to swallow once we know everyone else is doing it, too.
According to Challenger, Gray and Christmas, a private research group, employers will lose $9.2 billion in work time this year due to fantasy football, with 1.19 hours per week of work productivity lost from about 17 million Americans who participate.
Bathroom breaks, coffee breaks, water breaks, cigarette breaks, snack breaks and breaks to stretch your legs were not factored in to the research.
And neither were fantasy-related car accidents.
But by the looks of it, I’m not the only one out there. In fact, this room is quite crowded, and I am at ease.
And this, and only this, deserves a fist pump.
