By Betsy Avelar Staff Writer
Hollister
–
”
I grabbed the knife and cut into my forearm. The more I cried
the harder I would do it,
”
said Patty Lezama, 31, a victim of child sexual abuse.
Hollister – “I grabbed the knife and cut into my forearm. The more I cried the harder I would do it,” said Patty Lezama, 31, a victim of child sexual abuse.
But the Hollister woman’s pain was deeper than the blade. The secret of her sexual abuse festered for 25 years until she could no longer hide it.
Through Community Solutions, Lezama received help. She is in the process of recovering and now speaks to others about her painful journey.
For overcoming her difficulties, Lezama, who works as a television news anchor for Univision, was honored Friday at the Helping Hands and Healing Hearts luncheon fundraiser at the Coyote Creek Golf Club in San Jose.
Lezama said the abuse began when she was 6 years old. She lived in Hollister with her five siblings, parents and uncle.
One day she was playing with her dolls when her uncle came into her room and molested her.
“I had no idea what molestation was,” she said. “He would tell me things to do. I felt dirty.” This went on for three years, then finally it stopped.
“I had suppressed (the molestation) so well that I forgot about it for a year,” she said, but she was depressed throughout her childhood.
Feelings of worthlessness and depression hit the hardest in her junior high and high school years.
While in college at California State University at Stanislaus, Lezama told her best friend about the abuse.
This led to Lezama’s first breakdown and later attempts at suicide.
“I just felt so dirty. I felt worse than a pig,” she said.
She began using a knife to cut herself. Every time she sliced into her forearms and legs, it would bring her temporary relief, Lezama said.
It wasn’t until last year that Lezama sought professional help. Despite her fear of men, she told Jim Cafiero, a high school counselor in Hollister, about the abuse. She had been told that he helped young girls who were sexually abused.
“Mr. Cafiero gave me a different image of a man,” she said. “He gave me back the image of men that do want to help.”
He referred her to a therapist and Community Solutions, a comprehensive human services agency that has served south Santa Clara County and the surrounding areas since 1972.
With services such as free therapy, Lezama was able to get help and begin recovery.
One in four girls are sexually molested by the age of 18, and 30 to 40 percent of them at the hands of people they know and should trust, according to Community Solutions, but these incidents are largely underreported.
To begin the healing process Cafiero devised a strategy.
He had Lezama get a picture of herself when she was 5 years old. Then he had her imagine a little girl alone in a sand box. He told her to go up to the little girl and hug her.
“I remember being very hesitant because as soon as I touched her, I knew I was going to feel all the pain that she felt,” Lezama said.
When Lezama hugged her, she felt the little girl’s loneliness.
“Tell her that you love her and that she’s not going to be alone anymore,” Cafiero told Lezama. “Let her know that you’re going to be there for the rest of her life.”
The strategy helped Lezama understand that no one is alone, that everyone has a child inside that needs love. The next step was confronting her uncle. Cafiero and Community Solutions case manager Debbie Ruiz attended this meeting.
When Lezama faced him, she told him that she would not carry this burden anymore. She asked him to leave the area, and that’s exactly what he did.
“What helped me a lot is that I was able to show him and myself that I could move on,” she said. “I made him feel the way he made me feel. I transferred that to him.”
She then filed a report about her uncle with Child Protective Services to keep his children safe.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get over it, but we learn to deal with it,” she said. “The crying is more healing now rather than depressing.”
Today she does the things that she never did as a child, and while at work she no longer has breakdowns as often as before.
“In the process of helping others she will heal herself,” said her co-anchor, Esmeralda Montenegro.
Lezama agrees.
“It feels so liberating to be able to say it in front of so many people,” Lezama said.
Betsy Avelar attends Gavilan College and is an intern for the South Valley Newspapers. Reach her at 408-847-7216 or ba*****@************ch.com.
