If anyone could write the how-to book on class reunions, it’s
Teaneck (N.J.) High School’s class of 1948.
For the past 60 years, a self-appointed committee of those
postwar graduates has religiously organized reunions
– generally, twice a decade.
If anyone could write the how-to book on class reunions, it’s Teaneck (N.J.) High School’s class of 1948.
For the past 60 years, a self-appointed committee of those postwar graduates has religiously organized reunions – generally, twice a decade.
“In the very beginning, we had them about every year, more or less by word of mouth, and then, starting with the fifth, we’ve had them every five years,” says committee member Claire Hesse Cleary, who now lives in Toms River, N.J., but clearly left a piece of her heart in Teaneck.
The desire to reconnect is behind the roughly 100,000 high school reunions that take place in the U.S. each year, according to Dina C. Carson, who has written four books about reunion planning. Most of these events, she says, are put together by classmates rather than school-based alumni associations.
“And it’s not always the people who you think are going to do the class reunions, not the class presidents and such,” Carson says. “It’s usually just a group of friends who decide they want to get together and then get the word out.”
TV Land has been shining a spotlight on these popular gatherings with a reality show called “High School Reunion,” and a section of tvland.com where users can “upload photos, interact with others (and) share high school memories.”
NEW MEMORIES
While “school reunions are primarily about nostalgia, curiosity and reconnecting,” Carson says, they’re also about “creating new memories.”
In complete agreement is Jeff Dux, who worked on the committee planning the 30th reunion of Bergenfield (N.J.) High School’s class of 1978 last year.
“I’ve reconnected with a lot more people since I’ve left high school,” says Dux, who left New Jersey 21 years ago and lives in San Francisco.
Dux’s 20th class reunion was a “pivotal” one for him; besides getting to hang out with old pals, he got acquainted with “folks that I knew in high school but wasn’t really great friends with.”
At the 10-year reunion, Dux recalls, it “seemed as though everybody had just gotten married and settled in careers. It wasn’t exactly a competition among folks, but everybody had moved on.” But by 20 years, many had kids, some had gotten divorced, and everybody “just wanted to party.” They had such a great time they decided not to wait another 10 years to get together.
The 25th reunion, Dux says, was orchestrated by classmates. com, an online social networking site.
“It was great to see everybody, but the turnout was pretty poor and people complained about the food,” Dux says. “I was talking to a bunch of people at the reunion, and we said we should do our own, to get it done right.”
HUMAN TOUCH
Planning for the 30th utilized the Web site bergenfieldalumni.com, run by Arkansas-based BHS alumnus Joe DiMaggio (class of 1967).
While the Web can be an invaluable tool in reunion planning – especially search engines like Google and targeted sites such as www.reunionsolutions.com – as the class of 1948 can attest, there’s no substitution for the human touch.
Here are some tips they learned through the years that should help, whether you’re planning your fifth reunion or your 55th.
– Send out a “save the date” notice – ASAP.
The Teaneck High School committee starts planning about a year in advance. About eight months before the big event, the committee mails out a letter informing classmates of the date, location and preliminary details (in this case a pizza party Friday night, a dinner at a hotel Saturday night and breakfast there Sunday).
Four to five months out, the committee sends a second mailing with more particulars.
– Find someone detail-minded (and computer savvy) to organize things.
For the Teaneck folks that’s Arthur Curry, who maintains the class Web site (ths48.org) and a class database.
Curry, mind you, was not actually a member of Teaneck’s class of ’48. He married into it. He and Jane Taylor wed 42 years ago, the second marriage for both.
Twenty years ago, he started a database to keep track of class members. And about 15 years ago he launched the Web site, which he works on almost daily.
“When I started this, there were 19 class members who had e-mail. Now it’s about 111 to 112,” says Curry, who, at this point, knows more about THS’ class of ’48 than anyone. For instance: “Florida is second only to New Jersey as to where everybody lives.”
Of the 321 in the graduating class, 40 that he knows of have died, and another 59 are “missing,” says Curry, who has “never stopped” looking for them.
– Don’t expect everyone to come or even respond.
Cleary says the committee does hear from the majority of classmates.
– Work those connections.
Richard Lofberg, a member of THS class of ’48, lives in a townhouse complex and arranges for the group to have their pizza party at the clubhouse there.
– Wear those name tags.
“The ones who don’t come regularly, I don’t know whether I would recognize,” Cleary says. “At one of the reunions, one gal jumped in the middle of the room and said, ‘I bet you nobody knows who I am.’ And nobody did.”
– Find a gem to spearhead your effort.
A gem like THS’ Claire Hesse Cleary. Widowed in 1988, with two sons who do not live nearby, she says the class has been her “extended family.” By the way, the first thing written next to her photo in the 1948 yearbook: “Values friends.”
