It’s Christmas in Tinseltown
This is a great time to be living in Hollywood as many films
that will never be seen in most large cities, much less Hollister,
will be shown in Tinseltown. They all hope to win Oscars and one of
the rules is that the film must have been shown publicly in
Hollywood. That is why even the most avid movie fans
– film critics – come nomination morn invariably ask,
”
When did that movie come out? I never heard of it.
”
And they are right.
It’s Christmas in Tinseltown
This is a great time to be living in Hollywood as many films that will never be seen in most large cities, much less Hollister, will be shown in Tinseltown. They all hope to win Oscars and one of the rules is that the film must have been shown publicly in Hollywood. That is why even the most avid movie fans – film critics – come nomination morn invariably ask, “When did that movie come out? I never heard of it.” And they are right.
In 1987 Sally Kirkland was nominated for her role in a film virtually no one saw except Academy Award voters yet she was nominated for an Oscar. When it was announced I joined the chorus across the country and the world with “Sally Kirkland in what?” Sally with nu studio budget personally put up her small savings and made tapes of “Anna” which had a brief run in art houses in Hollywood and knocked on as many Academy members’ doors. Sally is a great actress but I think a much better saleswoman as her performance in the forgettable
Anna” was just typical Kirkland. Great. She jokes when asked how many Academy members she had to sleep with. You can see her in another little film, “Off the Black,” soon to be released with Nick Nolte.
Speaking of Nolte, Rip Torn almost did the impossible and posed last week for a mug shot after his drunken driving arrest that made him look like Nolte’s twin in that famous photo.
But my favorite Hollywood drunk of the week is Lindsay Lohan, star of Disney films. Nancy, my brother and his wife Liz the tamale queen and I were standing next to her at a star ceremony on Hollywood Boulevard and she seemed drunker than Mel Gibson at Passover.
This week Lohan announced that she was joining Alcoholics Anonymous. What part of anonymous doesn’t she understand? But she won’t be attending all the meetings as she plans to mold AA to her specific needs. I guess she’s like me. I’m waiting to join Alcoholics Anonymous when they put in a smoking and drinking section. Aye chee waa waa. Que pasa, Lindsay?
About the only sure thing about the Oscars is that “The Queen” will win an Oscar. Well, Helen Merrin as “The Queen.” There should be a law that Judi Dench and Merrin not be allowed to be nominated as our American actresses don’t have a chance. When Dame Judi Dench won for “Shakespeare in Love” she was in it in less time than Pamela Anderson’s marriage.
I once had a one-man visit with the current queen of England. Lizzie and I had a mile down. True story. The Queen’s yacht couldn’t handle the weather on the way to Los
Angeles to meet President Reagan so they brought the conference to San Francisco at the last minute. My little bookstore “Bob’s Books for the Price of a Politician,” was on Geary right in downtown San Francisco a block from where we lived. For some reason, the queen’s limo stopped right in front of my store.
She gave me the queenly wave and I politely smiled expecting her to move on. I did not see one security officer or plainclothes protection. She just sat there with the light on and she was wearing her crown. Yes, her full crown and it was almost as brilliant as when I witnessed the aurora borealis on my way to Alaska. She kept smiling and I kept nodding. She was there for over 20 minutes and I saw no one but her until I heard the roar of helicopters as President Reagan’s limo came by and away she went, waving to me once again.
To this day I thought I saw a tear in her eye as we parted. Have you ever slept with Prince Phillip? I think she was hot for this short, fat, bald, bearded Mexican. But then, what woman isn’t – and some men too? Aye chee waa waa!
