There’s definitely many things that human bodies have in common with cars. When cars and bodies are new, they don’t need much care or fixing, and will run just fine without fuss.
As they get older, though, the repairs get more frequent — and more expensive.
I am contemplating a lot of body maintenance right now, since it’s January. It’s that time of year when we get on the bathroom scale, scream, and immediately head to the gym.
The No. 1 New Year’s resolution in the United States is to lose weight, and so now Americans are being inundated with ads for diet plans, exercise videos and devices that are supposed to give you abs of steel. They say the average person views 3,000 ads a day, and in January, my guess is about 2,993 of them have to do with body image.
It’s kind of amazing, too, this whole dieting-after-the-holidays thing. Before New Year’s, all the ads are telling you, “Eat! Drink! Be merry! Hey, it’s the holidays!”
And after Jan. 1, their message is, “You’re fat! You slob! Why did you eat and drink all that?”
I had been feeling smug about my own bit of weight loss prior to Christmas, but as they say, pride goeth before a fall. Or a lot of calories in the form of cookies and chocolate-covered almonds.
I lost a couple of pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas and was patting myself on the back for that. But somewhere between Christmas and New Year’s, all the poundage, and more, came back, like some fleshy boomerang.
Well, someone had to eat all those leftovers. Couldn’t just throw them out.
I have gained and lost enough weight over the years to make up several more versions of me, so all of this is nothing new. But I find myself with a decided lack of enthusiasm for it this year, even though I know it’s more important than ever.
As my doctor keeps reminding me, I’m not a spring chicken any more, so every pound I gain means health consequences down the road. There’s diabetes in the family, so I have to think about that.
High blood pressure is also a legacy.
Every time I go in to see her, no matter how much or how little I weigh, she taps my chart with her pencil and says: “You really should lose a few pounds.”
Unfortunately, I have a physical coming up in a few weeks, so I know I’m going to be hearing this once more.
The need for all this body maintenance is getting a little bit wearing. Already there’s regular visits to the dentist, the dermatologist, the mammography center and the ophthamologist.
True, I don’t have to do these things, but I’m a bit compulsive that way. Plus I always have this sneaking feeling that if I stopped, various body parts would start dropping off.
Yes, ’tis the start of a new year, and we’re all taking a long hard look at ourselves and trying to figure out what the heck to do. The prospect seems overwhelming right now.
If only exercise and proper diet were as pleasurable as lying around and eating bonbons. And yet it is not to be.
And there isn’t any way around it. There aren’t any pills or magic potions or injections that will do the work for you. It comes down to sweat and lettuce leaves.
I am not feeling the love right now for diet and exercise. But I must, and I will … eventually. After all, it’s just what I do this time of year.
Write to Kathy Nichols at ou************@ya***.com.
