Teenage boys are reticent about love and relationships
Trying to figure out what two teenage boys are thinking is kind
of like going on an archeological dig. You ask a question
– scrape a little bit of the surface off – and then keeping
picking and picking until you get to the good stuff.
And the good stuff is never there on the top. It’s always
buried, way, way, down.
Teenage boys are reticent about love and relationships
Trying to figure out what two teenage boys are thinking is kind of like going on an archeological dig. You ask a question – scrape a little bit of the surface off – and then keeping picking and picking until you get to the good stuff.
And the good stuff is never there on the top. It’s always buried, way, way, down.
You think men are hard to talk to. Try young men when you really want a challenge.
Since I am Mom, they would no sooner dream of sharing their feelings with me than flying to the moon unassisted. In fact, as I’ve learned, the easiest way to get them to flee from me is to ask anything resembling a personal question.
And maybe my kids are more reticent than most, but I get very, very little information about anyone of the opposite sex that they might possibly be interested in. There’s a lot of reading between the lines.
I’ve gotten good at reading between those lines.
Now that Valentine’s Day is drawing near, I have noticed a few interesting anomalies. For instance, my younger son wants to send valentines – something he hasn’t done since elementary school. Whether there is a certain someone, or several someones, is not for me to ask.
It was the same way at Christmas time, when he went shopping for someone – or someones – and asked for help in wrapping the presents. But Hunter never said who they were for.
There’s one girl in particular who Hunter has taken to the movies a few times, yet he won’t even tell me he’s going to the movies with her. He’ll tell me later in a very casual way, “Oh, I went with Chelsea.”
I have a pretty good idea of who the presents are for, and why, and so forth. I’m no fool. But he will never admit it to me.
And if I do dare to inquire, I know he’ll dance around the questions until I get tired of waiting for a reply. I’ve learned that the hard way.
And then there was the girl that my older son brought home the other day. Bringing girls to the house is nothing new, since Ross always seems to have friends of the opposite sex hovering around.
But he’s never had an official girlfriend – or if he has, he’s never introduced one as such.
I still haven’t been notified if there is something different here, but when Nicole came over, she was definitely acting in a girlfriend-ish type of way. She held his hand as they sat on the couch, and she seemed to find plenty of excuses to cuddle up close to him.
And she wanted to see his baby pictures.
Still, no confirmation yet of this from Ross. But the evidence seemed pretty clear to me. There’s a girl in his life. Love is in the air.
And yet, strangely enough, I probably will never hear it from his lips.
Maybe love is just too scary for my boys to contemplate. Maybe they don’t want to reveal that they’re making some sort of commitment to someone. Maybe it’s too hard to reveal anything to their mother that even hints that they’re not tough guys.
But I have a strategy all laid out. At some point next week, I’ll launch a little gentle inquiry. After all, I do want to know what’s going on with my kids.
Going after the information in just the right way is the trick of it. When you excavate, you have go easy, layer by layer, bit by bit.
I’m patient. I can wait.
