Independence on the horizon for mom of teen
July Fourth is about celebrating our independence, and the way
we do that these days is by barbecuing, lighting sparklers, and
wearing copious amounts of red, white and blue, like the striped
sweatpants I saw at Target the other day.
Independence on the horizon for mom of teen
July Fourth is about celebrating our independence, and the way we do that these days is by barbecuing, lighting sparklers, and wearing copious amounts of red, white and blue, like the striped sweatpants I saw at Target the other day.
Actually, I do none of these things, although I have been known to hang up flag-shaped patio lights in honor of the big day.
By the same token, independence means different things to different people. For my eldest son, Ross, independence means moving off-campus into a house with 40 other students. (I’m exaggerating, of course – it’s only 20.)
For my younger son, independence – or at least the first baby step toward it – means getting his learner’s permit at the DMV, something that will take place very soon.
For me, it’s the sobering thought that in probably a little more than a year, both my sons will be somewhere else besides home. My younger son, Hunter, will most likely go to college in fall 2011, and for the first time in many years, I’ll be on my own.
I went to see “Toy Story 3” last week. It wasn’t the plight of the toys that moved me so much as it was the plot line that has Andy going off to college. I sniffled a bit to see him packing up his car in preparation for the move.
Hunter, too, will be going that way all too soon.
And like Andy’s toys, I, too, will be left behind.
Independence doesn’t sound like an altogether pleasant experience at my age. Sure, I’ll finally have time to take up ceramics or quilting or something. There will be many books to read, concerts to attend, and games of Scrabble to play.
I have wonderful friends to catch up with and even visit in faraway places. There are certainly lots of other things to do other than wait on my teenage son.
And yet, I know that being independent isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.
Becoming a nation unto itself was difficult for the United States, yet it eventually came to be. And it will be a learning experience for me as well. Of that I have no doubt.
It wasn’t so bad when Ross left, but then I still had Hunter at home. Although Hunter can be a rather surly teen at times, he is still my son, and still my responsibility for now.
What will it be like, to be responsible for myself and only myself after more than 20 years of parenthood? That’s what I will be faced with, come next year.
Hunter is now taking a few tentative moves toward his independence. Well, independence of a sort. Getting a driver’s license does free one from the boundaries of little Aromas. But the big test will really come when he moves away and must learn to make decisions for himself – and adjust to doing his own laundry as well.
He’s looking forward to his independence. Me, not so much.
“When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another,” our Founding Fathers wrote, once upon a time. They weren’t thinking of families, of course, but that’s what I think of when the idea of connections is brought up.
The familiar bands are being loosened. Soon they’ll drop away entirely, and it will be a whole new world for me and the boys. And that will be quite the experience.
Happy Independence Day, everyone. Enjoy your families this weekend.
