Our first Red Phone caller of the week, feeling like a slave to
the traffic light at San Benito Street and Third Street, asked the
Crimson Crusader to get something done about the device. The light,
our caller said, wasn’t directing traffic to go the appropriate
ways at the appropriate intervals.
Our first Red Phone caller of the week, feeling like a slave to the traffic light at San Benito Street and Third Street, asked the Crimson Crusader to get something done about the device. The light, our caller said, wasn’t directing traffic to go the appropriate ways at the appropriate intervals.
The Crimson Crusader did some investigation into our caller’s problem while waiting at the light in question during a test drive of the new Shelby GT500. The Crimson Crusader was frustrated when the light seemed to take an inordinately long time to change. After revving the monster V-8 engine several times, the Crimson Crusader called up Caltrans District 5 Public Information Officer Jim Shivers to report the problem. Shivers said he would send out a crew to take a look at the light to see if it was functioning properly as soon as possible.
Speak Clearly, please
Our next Red Phone caller, apparently upset about some Taco Bell coupons, left an angry, and largely incoherent voice message for the Crimson Crusader. Since the Crimson Crusader couldn’t understand our caller, whatever question she had went unanswered. However, the Crimson Crusader would like to take this opportunity to remind callers to speak clearly when leaving a message and to be sure to leave their name and phone numbers when calling the Red Phone.
Big-Game hunting
Our final Red Phone caller of the week, a rural San Benito County resident and hunting enthusiast, asked the Crimson Crusader if any local or state laws prohibited the hunting, shooting or capturing of Bigfoot. At first, the Crimson Crusader dismissed this call as a hoax or a prank. But in the end our hero decided to take the caller’s question at face value and go about answering with the same seriousness with which all other Red Phone queries are answered.
The Crimson Crusader made a call to Steve Martarano at the California Department of Fish and Game to find the answer. Martarano said that nothing in the California Fish and Game Code prohibits the hunting or shooting of Bigfoot, but pointed out that there are no regulations in the code at all regarding Bigfoot. And since there are no regulations about hunting Bigfoot, Martarano said no one can hunt Bigfoot.
“We don’t want to give people the impression that if they find Bigfoot, they can shoot it,” he said. “There are no regulations for Bigfoot, there is no season for hunting Bigfoot, so you can’t hunt Bigfoot.”
He said that the Fish and Game Department has received dozens of inquiries about such creatures over the years, but that in recent years the numbers of questions about Bigfoot have decreased.
The Crimson Crusader, out of an abundance of caution, took our caller’s question a step further. The Crimson Crusader made a call to San Benito County District Attorney John Sarsfield to find out what would happen if someone mistakenly shot and killed a person while hunting Bigfoot. The prosecutor said such cases could be treated as a homicide and would be handled on a case-by-case basis. It should also be noted here that Sarsfield, like the Crimson Crusader, said he doubts the existence of the mythical beast.
