Thanks to e-mail, I’ve learned all sorts of tidbits of
historical significance.
Thanks to e-mail, I’ve learned all sorts of tidbits of historical significance. For example, according to one e-mail I received, June used to be an ideal month for weddings because many people took their annual bath in May. They still smelled pretty good by June (compared to how they must have smelled in April) so June was the time to get all gussied up and hitched. Other stories note that June was a good month to marry because it was between planting and harvest time.

Either way, it stands to reason that we’ve come a long way in the last few centuries, at least when it comes to personal hygiene. Having lived in Germany where I shared barracks-type living conditions with 26 Yugoslavians, I can say from experience that not all cultures believe in bathing as often as we do. If these folks bathed once a week I felt extremely lucky. The same held true for washing their clothes. By my standards they smelled.

But these folks weren’t raised in the United States. They felt that washing their hair or bodies too often took out the natural oils. As for their clothes, they thought they lasted longer if they weren’t washed too often. I’m not sure why they didn’t use deodorant or perfume as I never had the courage to ask. On the plus side, I never had to wait to use the shower and hot water never ran out.

Perhaps it’s better that they didn’t use perfume. I’m not sure which is worse, body odor or someone who has applied too much perfume. Since developing allergies, I have a heck of a time breathing when there’s too much perfume in the air. I can’t even go in some department stores where employees hide behind counters, waiting to jump up and spray you with the latest fragrance. Within moments I’m gasping for breath.

Perfume and cologne are items where a little bit goes a long way. People who wear enough to drown out fresh skunk spray must have noses that quit working. Otherwise they wouldn’t be able to stand themselves.

When I stop to think about it, we’ve become a society of many scents. For example, I start my day off with a hot shower. I use deodorant-scented soap, vanilla-scented shampoo and strawberry-scented conditioner. The towel I dry with and the clothes I wear have been washed in scented laundry soap and dried with a “fresh scent” dryer sheet. I put on powder-fresh deodorant, liberally apply lotion with a hint of almond smell and dab a bit of perfume on my wrists. That’s eight different smells and I haven’t even gone out the door.

If I represent the average person, get a roomful of 100 people and you’ve got 800 different scents all vying for air space. I’ve got to say I feel sorry for animals with their extra-sensitive noses.

Maybe it would be easier on everyone if we stuck to pleasant, natural-type smells, like the kind found in foods. I usually buy fruit-scented shampoos and conditioners simply because I like how they smell. And I’ve always loved the smell of one certain lotion because it reminds me of the oatmeal coconut cookies my grandmother used to bake.

Manufacturers are always on the hunt for scents the guys might like. There are so few to choose from. But if food scents were copied and bottled into everything from deodorants to after shave, it might open up a whole new avenue for guys. For example, most guys love a juicy steak. Why not make steak-scented after shave? Or how about French fries? Who could resist French fries cologne?

Hamburgers are one of America’s favorite foods, along with hot dogs. Again, these scents could be bottled and used in products like shaving cream or deodorant.

But why let guys have all the fun? Women are bound to enjoy wearing some of their favorite fragrances as well. Instead of dinner foods, women might be more inclined to enjoy dessert-flavored smells. How about cookie dough lotion or spiced apple pie cologne? Chocolate-scented lotion or perfume is guaranteed to be a hit.

The only drawback with familiar food scented products is it might be a hazard to our dietary health. But in my book, walking around smelling like chocolate all day might just be worth it.

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