I really look forward to the NFL Draft every year. It has come a
long way with the advent of blown up coverage on ESPN.
I really look forward to the NFL Draft every year. It has come a long way with the advent of blown up coverage on ESPN.

Here are some tiny, but modest, whimsies on network coverage, NFL teams and their draft picks in 2003.

Feeling it is understaffed in on-camera personnel, ESPN has just announced its desire to expand its work force in covering the NFL Draft. They have just acquired the analytical services of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in its entirety for 2004.

Someone get Denny Green a throat lozenge quick. ESPN obviously paid Green his green up front or else they would have told him to bow out gracefully with that unbearable, gravel voice. I thought Rochester had come back from the dead.

Was it just me or was anyone else waiting for Bill Romanowski to spit in Andrea Kramer’s face?

With Stanford’s Casey Moore and Colin Branch being drafted by Carolina, which already has ex-Stanford quarterback Randy Fasani on board, the franchise has officially changed its nickname to the Cardinal. Carolina Cardinal has a better ring to it anyway. The Carolina fight song has been changed to “Come Join the Band”.

More Stanford: Get used to it 49er fans and broadcasters. It’s “Kwame” as in “Name” Harris. Not Kwame as in “mommy”, the traditional.

More Stanford: Raider selection Teyo Johnson, who is best running patterns in the end zone, is absolutely going to love the “Black Hole”. And looks like Teyo made the right decision to come out early, as did Kwame.

I’d be happy with just Chris, Mort and Mel. Simple is better. Analysis can be overdone.

With six months to prepare its No. 7 pick, Minnesota opted to pass instead of run and ended up dropping the ball.

With the 233rd overall pick, Houston decided to take a chance on Chance Pearce, center from Texas A & M.

Here is the quickest way to get secret information out of Iraqi prisoners: Have them spend five minutes in the same room with Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser. “No! Stop arguing with each other! I’ll tell you where Saddam Hussein is!! I’ll throw in Osama bin Laden, too! Anything!!”

Vikings defensive back Cory Chavous, among the unneeded quartet with Kramer, failed to gain any endorsements with his surly demeanor. In contrast, offensive tackle Jon Jansen of the Redskins held his own. Romo, a little too irked at the world.

If the 10th pick in the seventh round, No. 224 overall, makes it. I’ve already come up with a giveaway every time he scores a touchdown. That player would be wide receiver Taco Wallace from Kansas State.

OK, Raider fans and broadcasters alike. Start practicing this one: DB Nnamdi Asomugha, No. 1 pick from Cal. Once you have mastered that try strong safety Siddeeq Shabazz, picked in the seventh round out of New Mexico State.

Expect the San Diego Chargers vets to make top pick Sammy Davis out of Texas A & M sing at the training table. Choreography is optional.

Cal’s Kyle Boller will introduce the forward pass to the Baltimore Ravens.

My pick for the most surprisingly low pick – USC wideout Kareem Kelly, chosen overall at No. 203 by New Orleans. Well, call it a tie – Oregon wide receiver Keenan Howry, No. 221 overall to Minnesota.

My favorite name is Kliff Kingsbury, QB from Texas Tech, off to New England at No. 201. Close second – Daniel ‘Blue’ Adams, CB from Cincinnati, selected by Detroit at No. 220. Wonder if he’s related to ex-49er Forrest Blue. Not to be outdone was Willie ‘Cie’ Grant, chosen by New Orleans in the third round out of Ohio State.

Can’t resist this. Notre Dame’s Arnaz Battle said he’ll battle for a spot in the rotation with the Niners.

Could be the steal of the draft judging from what I saw of him in college – USC running back Justin Fargas, scooped up by the Raiders in the third round. He’ll be deadly on swing passes.

With four players going in the first round and eight overall, how did Miami (Fla.) ever lose to Ohio State in the national title game? If you’re keeping score – Buckeyes with five draftees, none in the first round.

In the learn a new college every year department: Khalid Abdullah, chosen by Cincinnati at No. 136 out of Mars Hill. That’s where former Oakland Raider defensive tackle Otis Sistrunk graduated from. They just moved the campus up the hill a ways. And it’s in Mars Hill, North Carolina, in case you wondered.

Best part of the draft: The jailbreak of draft picks after Minnesota belched.

Here’s hoping Oregon State corner Dennis Weathersby, shot in a drive-by last weekend, makes it with Cincinnati.

Picked in the seventh round by the 49ers, I like Ken Dorsey a lot better than the Niners former No. 1 pick Jim Druckenmiller.

His head football coach in high school – Ron DeMonner – once told me when Tully Banta-Cain was doing everything for Fremont High in Sunnyvale five years back, that “Banta-Cain would play on Sundays someday”. Chosen in the seventh round out of Cal by New England, Banta-Cain has his chance, albeit a sliver.

Good luck to all draft picks and too all free agents. See you next year on ESPN with the draft insights of Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan and the Jack-in-the-Box guy.

Alleluia!

Previous articleDorothy V. Wilson
Next articleMixed reviews for ‘No Child Left Behind’
A staff member wrote, edited or posted this article, which may include information provided by one or more third parties.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here