A couple of weekends ago, we had a wedding in our family. Our
middle daughter tied the knot with a fellow she’s been dating a
little over a year. They were introduced by our youngest daughter.
By the second date, the chemistry between the two was obvious. I
wasn’t surprised when they decided to get married.
A couple of weekends ago, we had a wedding in our family. Our middle daughter tied the knot with a fellow she’s been dating a little over a year. They were introduced by our youngest daughter. By the second date, the chemistry between the two was obvious. I wasn’t surprised when they decided to get married.
They both are easy-going, rather shy with a genuine love of the great outdoors. Because neither likes to be the center of attention, their first choice was eloping. We, the family, wanted to see them take their wedding vows. With the promise of a small wedding, we convinced them to skip the elopement.
There was a catch. My newly engaged daughter wanted nothing to do with the wedding plans. Actually, she did take care of a few minor details such as the date and place of the wedding. After considering several choices, she and her intended decided to get married at noon at Mt. Madonna County Park. The park was beautiful and I highly recommend it.
Years ago (many years ago), I was a newly engaged bride-to-be. At the time, I was living in Germany but planned on getting married in California. With the innocence of youth, I called my mom and told her to get a wedding together. I’d be home a month before the wedding date to ‘help.’
Looking back at the stress I’d put my mother through, I knew that one day I’d face pay back. This was the year the pay back hit. When my eldest daughter got married two years ago, she planned everything down to the smallest detail. I was more a helper than coordinator. Her wedding was beautiful. The guest list was triple our most recent wedding, the dress and atmosphere more formal, a traditional ceremony with the classic speeches, and it fit my eldest daughter perfectly.
My middle daughter is the complete opposite. If something was traditional, she questioned it’s necessity. She didn’t want to walk down the aisle but wanted to suddenly appear from the sidelines. I suggested she bungie jump out of a tree, say a quick “I do” and jump right back up. Her sisters overruled both of us and insisted on the aisle.
In other matters, no speeches were to be expected, dress was extremely casual, tuxedos were not necessary. None of the men (including the groom) wore ties. My daughter skipped the traditional wedding gown in favor of a long white cotton skirt and peasant blouse. There was to be no professional photographer, DJ, etc.
This meant that her sisters and I had to work around the exclusions of the bride-to-be. Whenever she felt pushed into doing something she didn’t want, she’d simply respond that eloping sounded better and better. We got no help from the groom, as eloping didn’t sound too bad to him either.
In spite of the limitations, the wedding plans were fun. My youngest and eldest daughter and I shopped. Daisies was the theme. We put personalized tags on water bottles, instructions on disposable cameras and made cute little flower pot favors with daisy stickers. We shopped party stores, craft stores and eventually managed to drag the bride out for some shopping as well. Her best friend was her maid of honor. We found her a daisy print dress, then proceeded to scour the mall for sandals for both bride and friend. My sister, mom and cousins all pitched in to help. My husband was in charge of the food.
I don’t know if all of our work relieved any of the bride’s stress, but I can honestly say she created quite a bit for us. It took some convincing to get the soon-to-be married couple down to the courthouse for a marriage license. Three days before the wedding, the groom still hadn’t bought his clothes. Then there was the small matter of the rings, which were bought a little over 24 hours before the ceremony.
In the end, the wedding was wonderful. A friend made a beautiful cake. The bride and groom did beautifully. The ceremony was perfect. All told, my daughter and her new husband were happy they’d decided to share their special day with their family and friends.
As the newlyweds went on their honeymoon, I collapsed on the couch where I remained for the next three days. But now, I can breathe easier knowing the wedding pay back is over, and we’ve welcomed another great son-in-law into our family.
Cindy Brown is a Free Lance correspondent whose column appears every Monday.
