I so enjoyed reading your article about Cyberbullies, and very
much believe that bullies were once victims of bullying themselves.
They stuffed their rage, focused on their own bully or bullies, and
then became
”
like
”
the bully/bullies.
Editor,
I so enjoyed reading your article about Cyberbullies, and very much believe that bullies were once victims of bullying themselves. They stuffed their rage, focused on their own bully or bullies, and then became “like” the bully/bullies. The phenomenon of patterning is strong. Research studies about school shooters from the last decade demonstrate this point.
The Peace Rug process is the way I have been able to help children from ages 4 to 14 to find their voices when bullied. When a student is disrespected in any way – physically or non-physically – he or she invites their bully to go to The Peace Rug. It is an actual 3′ x 5′ rug designated as the “safe place” where they can talk – whether it is in a classroom, or counseling office, or even outside at recess. They use a script (part of The Peace Rug process taught to all students in every school) and within minutes make an agreement, then celebrate that agreement with a handshake or “high–five,” and then return to their activities. Teachers don’t have to facilitate the conflict resolution; students are learning to think through the process themselves.
As we know, when “victims” learn to find their voice, they don’t stuff their rage, focus on their bullies, and become “like” them. The unhealthy pattern is broken, and the students have successfully advocated for themselves with each other. Yeah!
Dr. Helen McIntosh, Counseling Psychologist
