On June 6, the drive-in theater will celebrate its 79th birthday. Yeah, I know. Most people don’t care and there aren’t many drive ins still around. Honestly? That’s a shame. I love the drive in. And I’m sure I’m not alone in my fondness for outdoor movie theaters … right?
OK fine. Possibly I am the only person left in America who loves the drive in. I can’t help it. When I was a kid, my parents dressed all of us in our jammies, loaded us into Mom’s Chevy station wagon (with genuine, faux wood panels) and took us to the movies. We loved the drive in. We got to play on unsafe, rickety swing sets. We got to watch as my dad tried out 47 different parking spots and 22 different parking angles until he found the ideal viewing spot for such highbrow movies as “The Love Bug.” We got to listen patiently for intelligible words coming from the giant speakers hanging from the windows.
So I ask you, what’s not to love about a drive in?
Wait. I’ll answer my own question. There are a lot of things to love about drive-in theaters. Seriously. A drive in is the last place on the planet, other than a hospital emergency room, where you can go out in public in your pajamas and nobody cares – even if you aren’t 5 years old. Yes, I know many people think they can wear their jammies to the grocery store or high school, but let’s be real here: they are deluding themselves into thinking that’s acceptable. If you want to wear your jammies in public, the drive in is the way to go.
Also? At the drive in, you get to bring your own food and nobody cares. There isn’t a soul at the door asking why you are carrying a small suitcase into the theater (yes, they do notice and yes, they know it’s because you don’t want to pay a bazillion dollars for popcorn, soda and candy, but they still can’t let you do it). And you don’t have to eat some strangely colored yellow popcorn swimming in butter-flavored oil. Nope. You get fresh popcorn from your very own microwave, smothered in real butter.
You also get to sit in the comfort of your own car. Personally, I prefer to take the SUV, get all kinds of blankets and pillows and sit all comfy and cozy in the back of the car. Sure, I realize you could watch the movie in your living room with blankets and pillows and whatnot – but does your living room have a great view of the stars as well as a giant screen? I think not. OK, maybe yours does have a giant screen, but let’s be real. It’s not nearly as big as a drive in screen.
The real bonus of the drive in is for families. You can take a baby of any age to the drive in. The only people who will hear the baby cry is you (yeah, maybe that’s not a big bonus). But for a real treat, when the car next to you has steamy windows and no visible occupants, you can just walk your baby next to the car, and say in a very loud voice “Oh, yeah in about 9 months, you’ll be hearing this too.” If that doesn’t make those windows unsteam immediately, nothing will.
And toddlers? Toddlers are made for drive in theaters. They can kick the seats until their legs get tired and not one person will turn around and yell at you. Try letting your toddler kick the seats in an indoor theater. Not a good plan – especially if the guy sitting in front of you is really big. Or the Incredible Hulk or something.
Of course, there are drawbacks. For one thing, winter is probably not high season for drive ins. It can get a little cold out there. And when your kids get older, it’s a bit more difficult to fit everyone in the back of your SUV. Trust me. We took Junior to the drive in last weekend. It was much more comfy to sit in the back when he wasn’t practically full-sized and didn’t have size 10.5 feet.
But I still love the drive in. And I think it’s a shame that more people don’t. Happy 79th birthday drive-in theater. Hope you make it to 80.
