I’m throwing a Halloween party for sports fans this year and the
great thing is, you’re all invited. Yes, even you soccer moms,
Little League hecklers, football mascots, Green Phone callers and
professional athletes and coaches. Everyone.
I’m throwing a Halloween party for sports fans this year and the great thing is, you’re all invited. Yes, even you soccer moms, Little League hecklers, football mascots, Green Phone callers and professional athletes and coaches. Everyone.
No need to RSVP, just show up in costume and you will gain entry. Of course, the toughest part each year is figuring out what to be or wear. For those of you who are having trouble, here are some friendly suggestions:
Barry Bonds
A “Jack in the Box” head (if it will fit).
Alex Rodriguez
A Ken doll that loses its glossy good looks come October.
Robert “The Ghost” Guerrero
Come on, you know we’re going bed sheet here. Too easy.
Martin Honorio
A mummy outfit is the perfect choice considering Guerrero will be trying to put him in a full-body cast on Saturday night.
Jeff Garcia
A smoking jacket and pipe. And, you know, if you want to bring your wife too, that’s cool.
Jeff Garcia’s running backs
See Martin Honorio’s costume.
Kobe Bryant
A one-way plane ticket out of Los Angeles. You can post-date it to February (the NBA trade deadline) if you like.
O.J. Simpson
OK, maybe not everyone is invited.
Joe Girardi
A leash. A very short leash.
Kelsey Jeffries
A Mad Max outfit is the best option for “The Road Warrior”.
Alex Smith
A bust from Canton. A big fat BUST.
Al Davis
Since older folks are sometimes stuck in their ways and won’t dress up, what should we call someone who wears a velour track suit and glasses that hang by a chain? How about the world’s fastest 78-year-old librarian.
Stephen Jackson
Jackson should be a preppie, wearing khakis, loafers and a sweater draped across the shoulders over a collared Polo shirt. Maybe a tennis racket, too. Just kidding, Stephen. You can wear whatever you want. (Please don’t shoot me.)
And since it’s my party, I’ll be wearing a wrinkled dress shirt with coffee stains down the front and a day’s worth of stubble. Voila! A sports writer.
