The biker rally is here again.
I’ve gotten used to the noise.
The biker rally is here again.
I’ve gotten used to the noise.
If close your eyes, the persistent roar of thousands of Harleys almost sounds like ocean surf pounding on a distant shore.
The crowds and barricaded streets aren’t so bad.
Just allow a little extra time if you need to get out of town; plan an alternate route, and you can cope okay for the weekend.
No, what gets me are the tank tops.
Specifically, the hairy, overweight, often tattooed men in tank tops.
Now, I don’t consider myself a member of the fashion police. I would defend to the death … well, maybe not to the death, but loudly and sarcastically if necessary, the right of anyone to wear whatever he or she wants wherever he or she wants to.
I avoid restaurants that keep a supply of lumpy sport coats and make men put one on if they arrive not wearing a jacket of their own. (Are there still any?)
I know that platform shoes will go away again, as they did at the end of the seventies.
Pudgy bellies overflowing low-slung jeans, piercings, pink hair … I don’t like these manifestations of youthful rebellion and creativity, but I know they’ll eventually be replaced by something equally unappealing.
The guys in tank tops, though … I don’t get it. I’m not hip enough to know who they may be emulating, who they delusionally see when they look in a mirror. I just know what I see. Body hair. Lots and lots of body hair.
I know it’s not right to make fun of people for physical attributes such as hairy backs and arms. People can’t help how many follicles they’re born with.
But that’s why there are polo shirts.
Or regular T shirts.
Not the large arm-holed, low neck-and-back tank tops that, to my mind belong in the gym, maybe.
I’m sure the guys wearing them are perfectly nice guys. They have a right to relax and have fun on the streets of Hollister. I’m glad they visit.
I’m just tired of the beer bellies in the tank top-Teva sandal-and-ball cap ensembles, with the bug-like sunglasses and goatee. I wish the Hollister Independence Rally would inspire a little more independence in clothing choices.
After all, the bikers all dress pretty much alike too. Jeans and leather chaps, black leather, lots of black everything else, boots and those kerchiefs that tie in the back and look vaguely like pirate scarves.
I know some of it’s necessity. The leather protects bikers from road rash if there’s an accident, as do the boots and jeans. But still.
I’d love to see a few in brown leather sheepskin-lined aviator jackets, white silk scarves and goggles.
If not sequins.
Or pale green lame to match the metallic paint on the bike. Now THAT would be independence.
I’m not really much of an exhibitionist, and I have to work most of this weekend. Even so, I may just dig out my pink prom dress and go mingle among the tank tops.
See you there.
