There’s something about Father’s Day that makes me relax. It’s the gift giving, frankly. Honestly? Unless you give your dad a gift that he already has, you have it made in the gift giving department for Father’s Day.
Oh sure, there are some dads who seem to have everything they could want (ahem, hello Dad, I’m talking to you). And that can make it difficult to shop for them. But for the most part there’s always a gadget or a tool that you can give a dad. You can give a dad a full set of tires for his car for Father’s Day and he’d be thrilled. Especially if you threw in a cool set of rims. And possibly a new car to go with the tires and rims.
But even if you only gave the guy a tire, a dad would be happy with it (provided it wasn’t a flat one from your car that he needed to fix, of course).
I cannot say the same for moms. It’s not that we’re picky. It’s just … well, we’re different. Look, if you gave a dad a blender for Father’s Day, do you know what he would do? He’d root around in the fridge for a while and then make some strange margarita concoction that tasted awful until you had the second one. But he’d be totally psyched about the blender.
Moms? Eh, not so much. Some moms would love it, but you take a huge risk that a mom looks at the blender and thinks, “Why didn’t they get me perfume? Is my only job to cook and clean? Don’t they appreciate me?” Or maybe that’s just me. Hard to tell. I can get a bit angsty about stuff.
Anyway, dads are even happy to get slightly strange gifts. You can give a dad a bottle of stuff that attracts deer, but smells like deer urine or something and most dads would be perfectly happy with it. They’d even brag to their coworkers about it. A mom? No. Moms don’t usually run around telling coworkers how excited they are their yards smell like deer urine. I’m not sure if it’s a female thing or not, but we just don’t do it.
Most dads don’t even mind getting the same gift for Father’s Day every year. In fact, they look forward to it, especially if it’s something that is usually forbidden, like candy or something that causes their arteries to harden and their doctors to freak out. Moms, on the other hand, want a little variety. I don’t know why. We just don’t like getting the same thing over and over again.
Of course the absolute best part of giving a gift to dad is that usually the whole family benefits. Take a gift of barbecue tools. Once you give them to a dad, do you think he’s going to open them up and say, “Oh, I should save these to use in August when the Jones’ family comes over for a barbecue.”
Heck, no. He’s going to want to bust those tools out and try them right then and there. And those tools are really the gift that keeps on giving – and do you know why? Because if those are truly awesome tools, you will be invited over for barbecue every Sunday.
Or you can give a dad one of those season pass doo-hickeys for sports on TV. Seriously, do you think he wants to sit there alone in his Lazy Boy on Sunday afternoon, hogging up all the wings? Um, no. He will share his wings and his TV with you. Probably you will need your own Lazy Boy, though. It’s been my experience that the Lazy Boy is sacred and nobody but the owner gets to sit in it. Something about the butt formation in the leather.
Of course, like moms, dads do enjoy gifts that don’t cost anything to give. Once, my sisters and I gave my dad a weeklong pass to leave the toilet seat up. Best. Gift. Ever. Even better than the homemade ties and hand-drawn pictures of him and the dog.
But the best part of giving your dad a gift for Father’s Day? He’s your dad. He’s bandaged boo-boos, changed the oil on your first car, taught you to ride a bike and subjected all your dates to lie-detector tests before you could go out with them. He deserves a little something for his efforts.
