It has been a few weeks since three Hollister teens died in a
tragic collision.
It has been a few weeks since three Hollister teens died in a tragic collision. This story has haunted me since I first read the news reports. As a parent, nothing can be worse than losing a child, and I pray for the families of these children. But prayer and sorrow do not convey everything I am feeling. I am equally disgusted about this night of crime and tragedy.
Last summer, I chastised the teens that had stolen a cell phone and used it to call in a death threat to a Gilroy High teacher. Their actions caused a lockdown for 2400 fellow students, and harrowing hours for the high school staff, parents and entire Gilroy community. I believe these teens deserve to pay for their crimes with more than a slap on the wrist. A letter writer later accused me of being too tough on them; unbeknownst to me, at least one of those kids was not Caucasian. I was raised with a set of values that lead me to believe that nobody has a right to commit crime. I don’t believe that members of any one group are genetically predisposed to commit crimes. Religious belief has nothing to do with being soft on criminals; our jails are full of believers. Therefore, I take a tough stand on youth who commit crimes. I also believe that parents should shoulder the blame when their minor children commit crimes. In the case of the Hollister teens, there is plenty of blame to go around.
All four of the Hollister students involved in this incident were enrolled in continuation schools. To be in a continuation middle school leads me to surmise that these kids had a history of making bad choices. Reading the comments of the adults who knew these young people brought about a moment of clarity. In my opinion, parents were merely bit players in the lives of these teens.
What kind of values system is instilled in a teenager who goes to a slumber party and then robs that home the very next day? Why aren’t the parents of these girls taking ownership of that aspect of the story? My son will be thirteen before the end of the year, the same age as one of the boys who went along for the last ride of his life. There is zero chance that my son could enter our house with two teenage girls and announce that he is going for a ride. Even if he had the audacity to ask, I would never allow him to get into a car with someone I don’t know. How many Hollister teenagers actually drive around in Jaguars? What happened to the simple ground rules that should be discussed routinely between parent and child?
Parental guidance is sorely lacking in the lives of many local children. The problems that plague young people in our area take a long time to develop.
Chronic truancy doesn’t just happen overnight, nor does drug use, vandalism or gang activity. All of these conditions happen a little bit at a time, and ignorance only accelerates and exacerbates the problem.
We have middle school students becoming sexually active, not because they are more mature than we were at twelve or thirteen, but because they are unsupervised and bored. We have a growing number of kids who are being given so much freedom that they are slouching toward adulthood too soon.
One of the ministers who spoke to the press regarding the Hollister tragedy said “It’s so easy to be critical as to why kids do these things, but it’s all our responsibility.”
While I do believe in the concept of “it takes a village,” I also believe that the village can never be a suitable replacement for a good parent. Becoming a parent is easy; being a good parent is hard work. Unfortunately, the “village” doesn’t have within it the power to remove children from the homes of irresponsible parents. Also unfortunate is that irresponsible parents are usually unable to identify themselves as such. Due to this persistent phenomenon, the entire village doesn’t like to take the blame for those villagers who fail to perform their parental duties.
This same minister said that “If we can find a way to be part of the solution … we’ll have a much safer environment for our children.”
Amen to that.
