Adam Breen

My truck is not a toy, but it has been used like one in a new local game that I like to call Musical Gas Pumps.

It’s sort of like musical chairs, in that a bunch of people circle around an object – in this case the gas pumps at Safeway on Airline Highway – and hope to jump in to secure a spot before our competitors get there.

The music is provided by my radio, though for some reason when I turn it off it doesn’t make everybody else stop.

The game is best played on weekends or during the lunch hour on weekdays, I’ve found, as that’s when half of Hollister seems to have run out of gas at the same time. If you’re ever in a hurry to fuel up and get out or your low fuel indicator is on, that seems to be when the gas station is most crowded.

It may not be wise to share my strategies for conquering this game, as some of you reading this probably will compete against me at some point. But I will anyway.

First, don’t play the game with your spouse in the front seat. As we all know, spouses have all the driving answers when they are in the co-pilot’s spot. They know the fastest route to a destination, they let us know if we’re driving too fast and they are quick with the “you should’ve gone down this way” to find parking when we’re at a busy store.

In Musical Gas Pumps, they often disagree with our plan of attack – “Why are we circling the station like a shark instead of just waiting for a spot behind someone who is already fueling up?”

The answer, of course, is “Because that would be no fun.”

I’ve tried different plans of attack when playing the gas pump game: ignoring the “Enter This Way” (or whatever they say; I ignore them) signs; parking away from the gas pumps while waiting to pounce on an open spot like a cheetah stalking a gazelle; and the constant circling method, hoping that random luck will open up a spot for me.

Another strategy is not to let your fuel gauge get close to “E” before playing the game, because that only adds to the stress. Play the game with a quarter tank or more, unless you get a thrill out of nearly running out of gas, which I must say makes Musical Gas Pumps a bit more thrilling.

When you do finally pull up to a pump, I’d caution against taunting your opponents with horn blasts or finger pointing. Respect your adversary and act like you’ve been there before when you win.

Fill your tank, wash your windows, grab your receipt, and go. Next time, you may be the one left circling the station while others are filling up. Remember what it was like to be them, adrift in a seemingly never-ending circle of fuel tank uncertainty, cursing your fate while other drivers spend close to $100 to fill up the SUV they bought in the 1990s when gas was cheaper.

But don’t think about the cost of fuel when playing this game, because then we’ll all feel like losers.

Adam Breen teaches newspaper and yearbook classes at San Benito High School and is a reporter for The Pinnacle. He is former editor of the Free Lance. Email him at [email protected] and follow him on Twitter @AdamPBreen.

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