”
Survivor,
”
San Benito-style
During 12 years of working in Santa Cruz, I never told anyone
that I watch television. This was mostly out of fear. If the wrong
person overheard that I watch
”
Survivor
”
I would have been asked to leave town and enroll in a treatment
program that involved green tea, yoga, and brussells sprouts.
“Survivor,” San Benito-style
During 12 years of working in Santa Cruz, I never told anyone that I watch television. This was mostly out of fear. If the wrong person overheard that I watch “Survivor” I would have been asked to leave town and enroll in a treatment program that involved green tea, yoga, and brussells sprouts.
One day I actually did slip. I was speaking with a friend and she asked what I was doing that evening.
ME: “I’m watching ‘Survivor’ with my neighbors.”
HER: “Oh, that’s television. I haven’t watched television since 1995.”
ME: “I am a bad person and will burn in heck.”
For years I would sneak home to San Benito County and watch television. Once a week my neighbors and I draw the curtains, eat non-organic desserts, and watch “Survivor.” We are not proud of what we do, but we have fun doing it.
“Survivor” is a simple show: A group of Americans are placed in a secluded area and split into two teams. The teams undergo a series of challenges. The losers of these challenges are forced to vote off one team member. The eventual, lone survivor is awarded $1 million.
The secluded area is always a hot place. This is so the women can dress skimpily and have their boobs and butts fall out of their clothing during competitions. The men are often shirtless. The teams have to secure their own food and build shelters. As the days wear on, the competition also becomes mental. Contestants lie, cheat, and turn on one another.
It is kind of like elections in San Benito County.
The women in our viewing group tend to support competitors who play with integrity and honesty, are hard workers, and have muscular arms. The men support contestants who are mentally shrewd and physically adept.
I support competitors who lie and cheat. I like the men and women who connive, are underhanded, and who are willing to blindside members of their own team. If they happen to have boobs and butts that fall out of their bathing suits while they do these things, then all the better. But unruly boobs and butts are not a necessity for my support.
I like the cheaters and liars the best because they tend to be more interesting. And if a contestant is an intelligent weasel, he or she gets my unwavering support. Many contestants start out with integrity, then make a gradual transition to moral debauchery. I also admire these contestants. They are the successful capitalists.
During the course of each show my neighbors and I become emotional. We wave our arms and yell at contestants. We occasionally brawl with pillows. We argue. By the end of the season we feel that we have been through a journey together.
We rarely discuss our “Survivor” viewing with others. How could we? Imagine how the conversation might go:
THEM: “What did you do last night?”
US: “I watched television that involved lying, cheating, and unruly boobs and butts. It was reprehensible in almost every way. It was quite enjoyable.”
No one wants that conversation. So we keep our problem viewing to ourselves.
Although I am not afraid to make a suggestion to “Survivor” management: Please base a season in San Benito County. You could call it “Survivor: Los Valientes.” The contestants could camp downtown. During the day, they could attempt to cross the street without getting killed, and at night, they could try to find food.
The San Benito game would include politicians, lawyers, newspaper publishers, developers and former district attorneys. You ask me, it would pull in huge ratings. Just a suggestion.
