When I learned that the National Security Agency was spending billions of dollars collecting personal information on ordinary Americans, the first thing I thought of was the program’s terrific potential for tracking down the telemarketers who call me illegally several times a week. That is a function the nation actually needs; no matter how many reports are filed with the Federal Trade Commission, the FTC still can’t seem to find the repeat offenders who thumb their collective noses at the Feds a million times a day. Since the government is listening in on everyone like an old-fashioned party-line snoop, they could at least do something constructive with the information they steal.
How about putting the NSA whiz kids in touch with the FTC and Justice Department to identify and prosecute the illegal telemarketers who are so busy abusing the public. Seems logical – these parasites rip off millions of dollars and disturb the peace of tens of millions of families very year; it’s clearly a form of terrorism. If the NSA is getting all those annoying calls from all the tapped phones, by now they are certainly sick and tired of hearing about reducing their credit card debt, refinancing their mortgage, or buying a gizmo that will allow their car to run on seawater instead of gasoline and get 100 miles a gallon to boot.
That means the NSA is listening to a gazillion illegal sales pitches and scams annually and doing absolutely nothing about it.
It’s the government version of, “That’s not my job.”
This is, after all, a national security issue. If the NSA can’t find the telemarketers, then telemarketing could become the primary terror communications network because it’s untraceable. The terrorists can just spoof a name and number on caller I.D., as they do now. Then they can send the call to 12 million home numbers via robo-dialing. This information could then be decoded at the one location that wants it. Meanwhile, the NSA and CIA have to check out all the 12 million recipients, 11,999,999 of whom are perfectly innocent; too many suspects.
The NSA also has a distinct advantage of being able to trace phone calls worldwide, which is good since some telemarketing calls originate overseas. With their foreign government contacts, they can use distant intelligence services to pinpoint the exact location of the calling operation. If the foreign agencies refuse to help out, you can bet the NSA can make them an offer they can’t refuse or else those embarrassing photos they’ve been sending to their online friend in Sweden – actually a CIA agent in Langley – might start showing up on the Internet.
Once they identify the location and the offending party the next question is, what should they to do about it? The truth is that since Bin Laden was killed, SEAL Team Six hasn’t been very busy and they can always use some missions to stay sharp. I’m not advocating that they actually kill all illegal telemarketers – at least not at first – just that they sneak into their bedrooms and leave a note to be found in the morning. It should say something like, “Stop making calls or find a new place to sleep – every night.”
Now that I’ve shown the government just how illegal telemarketing can be a national security threat, let’s hope they get moving and finally do something about it. I predict that program will have a lot more public support than the one they have now.
Marty Richman is a Hollister resident.
