Somehow during the past few years, the front door on our house
has been quietly replaced with a revolving door.
Somehow during the past few years, the front door on our house has been quietly replaced with a revolving door. This is in part thanks to an economy which has made home ownership in certain parts of California almost impossible for the average worker. Rents have increased through the years to resemble the cost of house payments in 90 percent of the country.
It started with our son, who moved out for his first semester of college. Since he chose to go to Cal State Monterey Bay, we suggested he stay home and save the dorm room costs. Being a typical 18-year-old he knew it all (I certainly did at that age), so out he went. Five months later he was back, unable to afford tuition and room and board. Gavilan College suddenly looked much more appealing, as did his old room.
Eighteen months later he moved out again, to Chico State. Another five months passed and he was back home – again, with more debts to pay. He was so discouraged by the cost of living, he grumped at us for more than a year. I couldn’t help but find this rather ironic, as we were letting him live rent-free while he paid off his debts, bought himself a truck and continued to improve his lifestyle.
When our son came back he moved into his eldest sister’s room, which was larger than his old room. She’d been attending CSUMB while living on campus and been out of the house almost four years when – surprise – she moved back home. Now a certificated teacher and working in Hollister as well as engaged and planning a wedding, it made economic sense to move back in. We were happy to help.
In the meantime, our two youngest daughters were still finishing high school and starting college. Having learned by watching their eldest siblings, they didn’t even attempt to move out. Though our children grew up in this house, it suddenly seemed too small for six people. The fact that our son and eldest daughter had enough dishes, furniture, etc. to set up their own household – and all this stuff moved into the house with them – might be part of the problem.
Eventually my eldest married and moved back out for good – or so we thought. Our son continued to live with us until he acquired enough money to help ensure a permanent last move out of the house. Five months ago he moved back to the Chico area. Except for a weekly phone call that I make to him, he seems to be doing well, enjoying his new-found freedom and solitude. He lives alone in a three-bedroom house he rents for a fraction of local rental costs.
Two weeks ago my eldest daughter and her husband moved back home. Actually, they have a legitimate reason: They really want to live in San Benito County but need to save a lot of money to do so. After living with the in-laws for a year, it was our turn to help out. My daughter and her husband moved into her old room, while much of their household overflow went into our son’s former bedroom. Once again the house is shrinking.
In the meantime, my middle daughter is engaged. In the next few months there will be a wedding in our household and – in theory anyway – an empty bedroom. That is, of course, if she and her husband can afford to live on the salary he makes while she finishes college and acquires her teaching credential. Otherwise our house will shrink even further.
So far we’ve enjoyed having my daughter and her husband with us. Personally, beside the fact she’s a great gal, I like having the help. My eldest lived on her own long enough to know the dishes don’t automatically get done, the bathrooms aren’t self-cleaning and the large garbage cans are located out back. She’s also set an example for her sisters, who after years of ignoring my not-so-gentle help-me hints are pitching in.
Although I kid about the crowded surroundings I feel very blessed. My kids and I are incredibly close, and it’s their choice to be here; there are no apron strings attached. On the days I want a little solitude I tell myself to be patient.
One day, in the not too distant future, my husband and I will find ourselves living alone. At least I think we will. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy the chaos and comfort a large family brings.
