Last weekend I was in Seattle visiting family. The kids went to
see
”
Nacho Libre
”
and my sister took my dad to
”
Prairie Home Companion.
”
Last weekend I was in Seattle visiting family. The kids went to see “Nacho Libre” and my sister took my dad to “Prairie Home Companion.”
But I was privileged to view a short DVD that I’ll not soon forget.
The video opens with footage of Seattle’s “Alaska Way Viaduct,” a part of Highway 99 that runs above the city, blocking views and now declared an earthquake hazard.
Then a blazer-wearing gent of indeterminate age addresses the camera.
He represents the “Committee to Save Big Ugly Things.”
He recounts how Seattleites have already lost several big ugly things, including the Kingdome, lost to implosion so better sports facilities could be built.
“And now they’re after the biggest, ugliest thing of all,” he concludes. “But wait! It gets worse! The mayor wants to replace it with this” – and an artist’s rendering of a leafy pedestrian waterfront mall appears on the screen.
“The mayor’s office claims that the project would provide office workers with unobstructed view of the waterfront – FACT! Studies show that unobstructed views reduce worker productivity by 9 percent.
“They claim the area would be an ideal site for family picnics – FACT! Picnics are known to increase fly and ant populations by 12 percent! (Visual: 100x life-size pictures of insects.)
“And it would invite couples to enjoy romantic evening strolls – FACT! Studies show that 37 percent of unplanned pregnancies follow romantic activity!”
You can view the actual video by Googling “big ugly things.”
The reason I’m describing it here? Well there are two reasons, actually. One is that it was so funny that I can’t stop telling people about it.
The other reason is that we have some issues here in San Benito County that could use this kind of satirical treatment.
The San Benito County Militia is a step in the right direction. While they haven’t produced a slick video, their weapons of weekly meetings, homemade signs and the occasional provocative letter to the editor have at least succeeded in making a few powerful people uncomfortable.
Elsewhere, we seem to have a number of “Committees to Do As Little As Possible” flourishing in our county. Their entrenched power structure squirms and recites the Committee mantra of “Yeah, but…” every time a new idea is proposed.
I can see the video now.
The bland-looking gent would be wearing a western shirt instead of a blazer.
He might stand in front of the collapsed Dance Hall at the County Park, or the dysfunctional sewer ponds, or maybe a dangerous intersection on San Benito Street.
He would tell us: “Some folks say we should set concrete goals with specific timelines – FACT! Fifty-seven percent of committees that set actual goals eventually meet them!
“They say we should welcome newcomers to freshen up our committee’s thinking – FACT! Thirty-five percent of committees that are too nice to new members eventually do something they have never done before!
“They say if we listened to new ideas we might actually meet our goals – FACT! If we met our goals we might not have a reason to keep having meetings!”
