When I was finally ready to “hang ’em up for good” and retire, my family was worried. You see, I had no real hobbies or plans for a third career like everyone in the TV ads. If you watch the commercials those on the verge of retirement are all better looking than I am and seem to have a bucket-load of unfilled desires, but I had none; I was just tired of the daily grind. Those who cared for me were concerned that I was going to sit around bored – and worse – drive them crazy. Luckily, I’ve found satisfaction in doing small handyman projects around the house.
Don’t get me wrong, there were other things I could have done. I could have gone back to school and studied psychology, which is a subject that always fascinated me. My life experience is that most people undervalue psychology as an influence on the human condition. You can bet that everyone in national politics, running a confidence swindle, selling advertising or engaging in the medical profession are aware of its importance. However, I think my school days are over. Studying takes long periods of patient concentration and I never had much patience. And I have even less now.
Running a bed and breakfast seems popular, but it was never on my list. First of all the idea of doing housework revolts me, I spent my whole life avoiding it, why would I want to change that now? Yes, I’m one of those. If we opened a bed and breakfast, my poor wife would have to work herself to death while I acted as official guest greeter and ruthless cost accountant; “Honey, we have to limit the guests to one cup of morning coffee, or I’ll have to go back to work.” “Well,” she’ll reply, “that’s more than you’re doing around here.” I don’t need that.
Those who love the great outdoors go hunting, fishing or camping when they retire. My idea of camping is anything less than a five-star hotel. Oh, I’ll stay in a lesser place, but I won’t like it, you see I’m spoiled; I keep comparing every hotel to home and it never comes up to that standard. Everything at home is exactly how I like it and you don’t have to smile at strangers while waiting for the elevator at my house. In fact, there is no elevator.
This brings me to what I like to do best – little projects with limited risk and a good chance of success; when it works, I get real sense of satisfaction. I make no claim to saving money. If you’re like me, every plumbing problem requires four visits to the hardware store. Visit one – I buy everything I think I’ll need. Visit two – I buy all the parts and tools I forgot to buy on visit one. Visit three – I buy replacements for everything I broke trying to fix things. Visit four – I buy extras for next time, then I forget where I put the extras so I always have to start over.
Eventually, and eventually can be a long time, I finish and the leaky faucet no longer leaks, the hole in the drywall is patched, the pocket door slides again, or the screen door has been rescreened and repainted. The garage is a mess, tools and parts everywhere, and I never add up the cost, but I feel a sense of accomplishment. Try it; a little satisfaction can go a long way in a frustrating world.
Marty Richman is a Hollister resident.
